I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize