I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
