my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
