Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
