I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
