Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
