I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
