He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize