she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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