my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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