I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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