I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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