I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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