i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
