Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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