shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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