Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
