Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize