Joe is yelling at the trees again.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize