I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
