Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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