I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize