I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
be right there i have to get my cape
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
