I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
