God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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