don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize