I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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