all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize