I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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