2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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