I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
