Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
