I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
