I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
