We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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