i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize