Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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