Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
