I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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