So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
