why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
