he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
