Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
