Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
