She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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