Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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