I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
