And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
