she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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