I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize