what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
