I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
