my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
