Kareoke will never be a sober sport
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
