After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
