He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
