someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
